Jafar
by The Grand Vizier Grandpa Rafaj
Summary: This story makes no sense starring: Jafar and Rafaj


Disclaimer: Aladdin characters belong to Disney, and Myrddraal belong to Robert Jordan. Muahahaha!  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 1 JAFAZMIN  
  
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On a dark night, a dark man waits, with dark purpose.  
  
"You are late."  
  
"A thousand apologies oh patient one."  
  
Just then the dark man, Jafar, dropped to the floor and started to break dance as he said "Holly whack unlyrical lyrics Andre. I think your fucking right!" Then he disappeared to his lair that he created with his omnipotent sorcerer powers and his magical snake-staff (from the movie Aladdin which has absolutely nothing to do with this story.)  
  
Just then, Jafar's evil twin, Rafaj, stepped out from inside a rat's cage. Rafaj was working on a potion that would grow a magical beanstalk. Rafaj started to run through a field of daisies that was never in Jafar's lair, tripped over a crunchy ant that was never in existence and spilled the potion that was still in the rat cage. With all this nonsense going on the potion created a pretty pink snake-staff with pretty purple flowers on it.  
  
Jasmine and Aladdin, who were never in Jafar's lair, decided that with the power of the snake-staff concocted from the potion that all four of them could take over the world. So Jafar, Rafaj, Jasmine and Aladdin embarked on an epic journey through time and space.  
  
They found that they appeared in a cave in Afghanistan in the year 2002. They also noticed that they were not alone in the cave. A man with a gray beard and a turban was in the cave. The man removed his turban and recited the Arabic alphabet. Then a can of gasoline appeared in the cave. Aladdin being the doof that he was took out his lighter and the cave blew up.  
  
When Jafar and Rafaj awaken, they decide that they want to take over the world without the help of Jasmine or Aladdin. So they take a walk and think of a plan to get rid of the two. While the twins are gone Aladdin and Jasmine eat some cantaloupe. Jafar then turns into his Jasmine-like figure and tells Rafaj the plan. Rafaj approaches Jasmine and tells her she needs to see something but she will be back A.S.A.P.  
  
Jafazmin then goes to Aladdin and leads him to a cave where he is locked inside. Then Rafaj takes Jasmine and puts her inside too. Then the two go off and capture George W. Bush, president of the United States of America. They are trying to get him to reveal information so that they can take over the world. They soon find that George Bush is a complete moron and is worth nothing. So, Rafaj suggests Al Gore. They capture Al and he is of much use until Jafar derobes him. Al turns into his true form: a myrddraal. Jafar and Rafaj incessantly poke Al Gore in his empty eye sockets until they disappear in one of Jafar's jars of smoke (see Aladdin).  
  
Meanwhile, back in the cave where Jasmine and Aladdin are being held captive, Iago crawls through a hole in the ground and opens a path using his molting feathers so Jasmine and Aladdin can fit through. They escape and eat some more of that cantaloupe. Aladdin then comes up with a plan to save the world from Jafar and Rafaj. Aladdin goes and befriends a group of eyeless Myrddraal to send back in time. They would keep Rafaj from making the potion. Therefore, the potion would never spill, never create a snake- staff, and there would be no taking over of the world. Everyone knows how this will turn out because I would not be writing about these things because they would not exist.  
  
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Chapter It Doesn't Make Sense to Put a Chapter Here SO I'm Not Naming It  
  
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Aladdin and Jasmine put their defiantly failing plan into action. While they were waiting for the Myrddraals to do their job, Aladdin went to play Zelda, Majora's Mask. And Jasmine went to the beach. Aladdin hadn't played this game in so long that he could not find where the magic bean seller was. So later that night Aladdin called A.Katz Omnipotent King to find out how to get to the bean seller. He found out how and got to the first temple and beat it. The boss was a crazy polygon-type-guy who shouted "owanga oye" over and over again.  
  
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CHAPTER 5 NON-MAKEY-SENSY-WAY  
  
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Jafar decides that in some non-makey-sensy-way Rafaj was messing up his plans. So, Rafaj is dumped in the city dump by Jafar. Jafar travels by himself to the Arctic Circle where he decides to go skinny-dipping.  
  
He is thrown in jail for scaring the non-continues living children with his very disturbing nakedness. When Al Gore the myrddraal hears of this, he becomes very outraged and travels to the Arctic Circle himself to save Jafar. He then bids him goodbye and leaves back to take over the Oval Office.  
  
Jafar decides that it was himself that was ruining his plans and decides to reunite with Rafaj and team up with Scare from Disney's The Lion King. There are lists on the Internet that have the top ten reasons why Scar is better than Jafar. However I feel these lists are a bunch of fooy because everyone knows that Jafar is the best then comes Scar. DUH! Well anyways, the twins end up teaming up with Scar, take over the world with Eminem and Al Gore and oh yeah me, the author, too for thinking this nonsense story up. They are defeated after twenty-seven tenths of a year of reign by the worthless street-rat, Aladdin and by a princess/street-mouse, Jasmine who then let me write more about them while the taker-over-of-the-worlders spend some valuable thinking time inside of a genie lamp!!! So, I guess to escape the same punishment I need to talk about Jasmine and Aladdin.... Maybe since I haven't done any chapters yet I should go back and do them now.  
  
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CHAPTER 4 JASMINE AND ALADDIN  
  
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This chapter is all about Aladdin and Jasmine so I warn you. Many people would skip right over this chapter, but I'm not normal so I'm not going to. After the first movie ended, or the second one (I haven't watched them in the last hour so I can't remember which) Aladdin say, "I wanna see the world" and jasmine says, "I'm going too" they actually go. SO, here's the story about that. No I lied.. The two never really went to see the world, although they lied about going. They left and came back seven hundred, seventy-seven minutes later (which is really twelve and ninety-five hundredths of and hour) and sang, "It's a Small World". Ok well I'm bored of these two already so I'll write about how Jafar, Rafaj, Al Gore and Scar escape the prison and live under fake identities and. well you'll find out more in the next chapter.  
  
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CHAPTER 5 PEE BREAK FOR THE AUTHER  
  
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I, the author, need to take a pee break so I will be right back (not that you will notice that I'm gone..)  
  
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CHAPER 6 YES I KNOW  
  
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He was in deep trouble all right. Yes I know. That doesn't make sense. I'm just being lazy now and I need to write!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, Jafar comes up with a plan to escape from the prison. So all of the convicts escape and live under fake identities. Jafar is Jafazmin, Rafaj is Welch, Scar is Ikill Ed Mufasa and Al Gore is Iadababy Ietzaboie. They travel to The Show where they built huts out of cartoons that are only on TV.  
  
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Chapter 7 The Odd Boy  
  
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They decided to send one of them out into the town of Lawrenceville, New Jersey to capture the author's really crappy brother, Stone. He wouldn't listen to the brilliance of this story so, I, the author, decided to have him captured. So, Scar is sent to capture this young boy and takes him back to the cartoony huts. The rest of the Disney villains tortured Stone by making him act like a normal child.  
  
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Chapter That's Enough Of That  
  
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Rafaj is quickly bored by this predicament, and decides to leave. He takes Aladdin and Jasmine to the place where we started this story and they made a potion to end world boredom. The potion smells like the bedroom of the being tortured boy from the last chapter. It looks like the moss from the big mossy rock in the bike trail pond. The potion spills just like in the one in the first chapter, but this time it creates a toy that will end all boredom until the person using it finds something else to do.  
  
Rafaj is very pleased with this creation and sends it to Parker Bros where they will send the product out for sale. The product is a big hit until people find out that it has no name. Rafaj gets an email asking for a name for the toy. Rafaj calls it "Rajah". It sells and creates millions of dollars. Jasmine decides to use her share of the money to take over the world and Aladdin and Rafaj agree. So they use the money to buy presidency in America for Aladdin, Asia for Jasmine, and Canada for Rafaj. 


End file.
